A few weeks ago I was in the mothers' room at church with three other moms. It's not usually that packed, but there are a lot of babies right now, and we have two wards (congregations) meeting at the same time. Somehow the conversation got on cloth diapering. The one mom I didn't know had cloth diapered a couple of her kids, but not this one, because she didn't feel like the effort this time around, not that it's hard, and it's okay if you don't, but it's great if you do...
That's cool.
The mom who was just there to change a diaper made a hasty exit somewhere in the middle of the discussion on bidets. (I sort of wish I had gone with her.)
The conversation moved on to organic smoothies (or were they juices?) and detoxing and the poisons we put in our bodies.
Okay, whatever works for you.
I think it was when she started talking about how her diet was the embodiment of the Word of Wisdom and started likening cheese to poison that I started having trouble not rolling my eyes.
Then she brought up vaccines. Oh boy. One of the other ladies is a nurse and I could tell she wanted to defend vaccines without causing too much contention (or maybe it was just that she couldn't get a word in edgewise). There were statements flung by the non-stop talker like, "You should do your research," and, "Did you know..." It looked like the nurse really wanted to say, "As a matter of fact, I did know, and that's why..."
This is when I excused myself, because I had to go teach a class. (Yeah, class didn't start for ten more minutes, but I hate to be late.)
I was upset. I felt like this woman had cornered us (in more than one way: she stood in front of the doorway as she was talking, and it's hard to leave the mothers' room if you're not done nursing) to force her opinions on us. Sharing differing opinions is one thing, but I didn't like the way she had done it - the attacks, the "you're hurting your child" refrain, the "this is practically gospel" attitude.
I was forced to reflect. How do I share the things I am most excited about (like homeschooling or scouting or breastfeeding)? Is there a way to share that excitement without making others feel trapped, inferior or defensive?
I want people to understand homeschooling better. I want then to know that it is not as hard as they think and they could probably do it, if they tried. I want them to know that there are many different ways to learn, and homeschooling is not only different than public school, every homeschool is different from every other homeschool. It is where you get to collaborate with God and design what is best for your family
all the time.
I want to help them understand that in homeschooling you get to learn right beside your children. You will learn more about everything from dinosaurs to the Roman Empire. Your knowledge and understanding of the gospel will grow. You will even learn things like patience, getting along, how to see someone else's point of view, making up and starting over when you have a bad day. Right alongside your children.
How do I convey all that and still convey that I respect your parenting desision, even when it's different than mine? I just want you to know what's out there, instead of just accepting the default. Because if you do know all of that, and you prayerfully made the choice that was best for
your family... that's cool.
I just don't want you to miss out on something great. That's all.
While I will probably never be able to say all that very well, I recently came across a blog by someone who is good at saying all of the things I have been thinking. This post does an especially good job of describing how I feel about homeschooling:
The Hidden Lessons of Home Education.